I am asking for special prayer for Rachel tonight. She is in a really rough spot right now and needs to make some hard decisions. Pray for her deliverance, her safety, and that she will have the strength to do what she needs to do. I believe right now is a crucial time in her life, and she desperately needs a miracle.

It all started when we had a flat tire beside a field of tall grass on the way back from delivering a hanging plant for mother's day.  My eyes wouldn't stop itching and I sneezed all the way home.  It came on suddenly, and left the same way.  Since then, allergy attacks have been coming on me unpredictably.  Sometimes inside the house, sometimes outside or in the car, often at night.  I feel sluggish and lethargic.  My eyes are puffy and red.  I know I should start taking some Claritin (I tried it one day), but I keep thinking that it's getting better (and then it hits again).  

The weight of the world is too heavy for me.  That's why Jesus carried it.  I stagger beneath it before I let Him lift it off of my shoulders.  Yet even then I feel it pressing down.  Am I still holding on?

This week is National No TV week.  I told my students yesterday that it would be easy for me, and had them try to guess why.  They had lots of ideas: "you're taking a trip", "you are teaching, and don't have time", "you're a grownup".  But when I told them the truth--we don't have a TV, every one of their faces registered shock.  Then the questions came, "How do you watch American Idol?"  "I don't."  "How do you watch Survivor?"  "I don't."  The questions to me turned into intense discussion of their favorite shows, until I called their attention back to 2nd grade phonics.  Hardly an interesting topic next to the conversation at hand.  And my heart was heavy.

Sometimes it is so easy for me to focus on the difficulties in life, and forget how much God has really blessed me. Last night I was so tired, and it was late, and Isaiah wasn't sleeping well, and my house wasn't as clean as I wanted it to be. I felt frustrated and overwhelmed. Christopher and I weren't communicating well. I said outloud, "why is life so hard?" And as I heard myself say that, I also felt a sense of shame wash over me. Of course life is hard, but the problems that I face are so small. I had just finished reading the book "Roots" and realizing the horrors that slaves had to face made me realize how thankful I am to be free, and to have my family with me. I also recently read, "Tortured for His Faith", and that also makes my woes seem insignificant in comparision. It doesn't mean that the little things can't be hard, but I think it is so important to keep things in perspective. I have so much to be thankful for. A loving husband, a beautiful, healthy baby, a close family, good friends, the knowledge and freedom to worship God, a house to live in with plenty of food, the chance to stay at home with my little boy, and the list goes on and on. I don't want to get bogged down in the little things, and forget all of the huge blessings. I pray that I do not forget these things.

I hate it when my little boy is sick. I wish he could tell me what hurts and why he cries. But instead I just guess and do my best to comfort him. I wish I could make it all better or suffer in his place. He looks so sad and so pitiful, and I know he doesn't understand why he feels this way. Yet even when his forehead is hot with fever he still has a grin or a squeal, especially when he hears his papa's voice or spots the guitar lying on the carpet.

It's been a long day. Partly because we had long, almost sleepless night. Isaiah was warm and restless. He wanted to be in my arms and nursing most of the night and most of the day.