The weight of the world is too heavy for me.  That's why Jesus carried it.  I stagger beneath it before I let Him lift it off of my shoulders.  Yet even then I feel it pressing down.  Am I still holding on?

This week is National No TV week.  I told my students yesterday that it would be easy for me, and had them try to guess why.  They had lots of ideas: "you're taking a trip", "you are teaching, and don't have time", "you're a grownup".  But when I told them the truth--we don't have a TV, every one of their faces registered shock.  Then the questions came, "How do you watch American Idol?"  "I don't."  "How do you watch Survivor?"  "I don't."  The questions to me turned into intense discussion of their favorite shows, until I called their attention back to 2nd grade phonics.  Hardly an interesting topic next to the conversation at hand.  And my heart was heavy.

Minutes later, a student is in tears.  The others are making fun of her for answering correctly, for doing well.  She sits with her head down, refusing to answer another question.  I speak to her alone, then with the offending student (one of them), who gives a quick apology.  But the damage is done.  And my heart aches. 

Later, as we talk, a friend shares concern for her family.  They don't know God.  They are making bad choices.  The little ones are following the same pattern as the older people.  She has a friend using drugs.  Another hurting herself.  And now she is feeling buried under the weight of their problems on top of her own.  Depression whispers and threatens.  And my heart goes out.

A child's eyes say a lot.  Her's looked dejected.  I could see her trying to please, and fighting back at the same time.  Not outloud, but in her heart.  Trying to figure out who she is, and to deal with the censure in a way that leaves herself intact.  Longing for that word of encouragement that never seems to come.  And my heart cries for her. 

Two days and a lot of sorrow.  More than my little heart can bear.  Yet these are just small glimpses into this world.  Without Jesus I would be crushed.  We all would.  I am so thankful that He carries us all, along with the sorrow of the world.  One day that which is wrong will be made right, and His children will suffer no longer.  I longingly await that day.