I too have felt overwhelmed by sadness the past two weeks. Too much suffering. Too much dying. Too many families ripped apart. And only more of the same on the horizon. I often wonder if my desire to bring a baby into the world is a wise one. Look what they have to look forward to. Sometimes I find myself asking God, "Just let me live a peaceful life with kids and grandkids. And let me die in my sleep at 85." Then I have an out of body experience, realize what I'm saying and want to puke. How selfish! How can I wish the rest of the world to continue enduring atrocity after atrocity while I have my Saturday night bowl of popcorn. If we, the privileged class of people who have the option of going to Grandma's this Sabbath or just staying home to enjoy each other's company, continue to relish our tranquility over going out to help a world in need and in some way fulfill the great commission, how can we expect Jesus to come back soon? How can we expect to go home with Him? I don't know what to do with all the grief I feel right now.

Funny you should say this Christopher. I just had the same oppressive feelings recently, although I know you have a lot more difficult issues going on. But it was even reflected in the beginning of my recent website article:

"Of late it is increasingly difficult to live in this world without realizing it’s becoming a real mess. I just returned from a trip to the mountains here. While intending to write about the experience I find my thoughts repeatedly returning to the plight of the poor victims in Chengdu, China and Myanmar (or Burma…whatever) along with the turmoil in Beirut, along with world–wide food shortages and so on. So I’m making a somewhat half–hearted attempt of an article."

At times it can be difficult to be optimistic, but by God's strength He can use us to bring light to the world.

I have not been on no less days in a while and Marti brought the discussion to my knowledge. As I told her, what you and Crissy are saying makes so much sense. I look at how the world is spiraling out of control and a part of me yearns for heaven (to escape it all) and a part of me yearns for tranquility in the storm. It seems as if evil is reveling in its success and good is cowering in defeat. Now I can only speak for me here: then my mind runs on Jesus and what He endured. It is not often that I choose to dwell on His life, but rather on what His sacrifice did for me. Yes He is God, but He was man. That in and of itself is a mystery. However, when I just look at his 40 days of fasting and how famished He was (and still resisted temptation), and how He bore the entire World's sins (Burma, China etc.) it shows what a good God He is. Call it blind faith... I don't know... but its my life line. I can only trust that He is God.

Christopher,

I understand what you are talking about.  Everything in this world seems to be in a downward spiral.  Just when you think things will get better something else happens. A little over 9 years ago, I felt like I was living in Hell.  I was soooo bad into drugs that I was running my finances into the ground.  My wife feared every week that checks would bounce because I would take money out of the account.  I had made multiple attempts to get off of drugs only to end up worse and worse.  My wife was pregnant going to have a baby, and got a call from California that her mother was going to die.  She left to see her and I didn't even have the common decency to call her.  I was to busy getting drunk, doing drugs, and other things I shall not mention.  To add to all of this my wife broke out in a horrible rash all over her body.  I felt like I would never get out off the trap I had put myself into.  I didn’t even know at the time my wife was going to leave me.  Christopher it was at that point in my life that God did a Miracle in my life.  To make a long story short.  I was driving down the road and I started to weep, and I cried out to God and told him I will give you my life if you will just take these drugs from me.  It was at that moment that God reached down into my work van and touched my soul and delivered me from the drugs and saved my marriage.  The reason I am bringing this up is because it was at my lowest moment that I first learned the meaning of the verse "for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  I know from your post that you are struggling right now, and I care about your struggles.  The enemy may want to destroy you, but God wants to build you back up again.  Have a wonderful Sabbath in Jesus!!!!

Isa 43:2

2              When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

(KJV)

Folks: I appreciate the thoughts.  When I think of this old world winding down, I get excited.  The only fear is for the people -- there are so many people that just don't know what they're up against.  Satan is tremendously good at trapping folks, and it seems that they still think they are free.  Things are so crazy.  For example, I can't get over how so many "Christians" are, not just accepting, but, positively in favor of killing hundreds of thousands of Iragis -- just because they think it'll prevent another couple-thousand deaths in another 911.  I know this seems a bit political, but this is Satan destroying Christ's influence on the world.  Why don't folks see it!?  This is one reason why I feel angry and frustrated.  Is it any wonder that people abroad fear us?

Obviously I'd like to see America's war on humanity stop, but at least I'd like to see it positively opposed by Christians.  We should be advocating what Jesus advocated -- we should be advocating Jesus!

My thoughts are still scrambled.  After I've "been there 10,000 years" perhaps I'll begin to understand.  I suppose for now, I do not need to understand -- just believe.

Anyway, folks, thanks for the encouragement.