Today is my first day at Sussex.  Everything is a little confusing.  Especially this whole block schedule.  I'm starving and I have no idea when lunch is.  Somebody said whenever the teacher says.  theres 3 lunch periods too.  But that doesn't mean I get to go them all.  I'm curious to see how the food will be like.  I've taken my A&P class already an

I just came from homeleave.  It wasn't all that great either.  I found out that my birth dad is again seeing my crack addict birth mom.  they are both against me now.

I apologize for not writing in so long.  I've been busy.my team is almost done with our first week.  it has been really awesome. except for some minor kid/parent problems.  Lack of sleep starts getting to you about this time.  We're all dragging today.  Us 3 girls on my team go to bed around 11:30 and get up and 6:00.  By four thirty we are pooped.  flag camp is an awesome experience.  we see miracles every day.  for example; stepanie lost the cell phone yesterday evening and I looked in the van for it.  She thought she left it at southern.  so last night around 11:15 Icraw

schools almost out and I couldn't be any happier.  except for the fact that I won't be able to see everyone in New Market.  I'll be starting Falg Camp and I'm  really excited about that.  I have one more final tomorrow and I'm on my way home for three days.  Not really excited about that.  I'm going to take myu drivers test and I pray that I wont fail cause I really need and want a car of my own.            

I've been struggling lately it seems about everything.  I feel like no matter what i   do it's always wrong and never good enough.  I beat myself up over every little thing.  It had become addicting over time.  just a normal part of life I guess.  I feel like God isn't with me anymore.  Even though I know He is.  I ask Him for help but it never seems like my   prayers are answered.

    Every time I talk to my family some thing else bad happens.  My dad is now dating a girlfriend who is an alcoholic.  and unfortunatly this is a serious thing,  he's already brought her to meet the familyu twice.  My brother is a druggy and is engaged at 17 1/2 to a girl he's cheating on.  My little brother is doing bad in school, as of this year.  My 10 year  old sister started cusing.  My aunt who lives with us scrams at everything that moves and goes into a big rampage.  I get more depressed every time I go home.   I feel bad that I never want to see my family.  I beat myself up over it all the time.

do you want people who are within the circle. who are familar with no less days. Or are you just more concerned with getting more users for more ideas and imput?

today was a very depressing day for me. I found out that a good friend of mine is heavy into drugs. I wasn't really sure what to do. because the last time I told the administration about someone, nobody took it serious. my friend is really depressed cause his best drug buddy got caught and now is expelled. I wanted to help him. it made me hurt so bad when I saq him agaist the wall with tears streaming down his face. I endend up telling someone anyway. I feel like nobody hears me whrn I try to help them. all I know is that I can pray for them. But sometimes that just doesn't seem enough.

today i got to put bubs to sleep which i never get to do anymore. he slept peacefully for quite awhile. it made my day. those are thr best moments,when you can hold them and watch them sleep.